‘Autism Uncensored:’ Mom tells son’s story in autobiography

Whitney Ellenby was a very driven child. She constantly studied and excelled in school and college. Fearful of losing physical and emotional control, she abandoned parties to return to her dorm room to chart out her future.

With her life going as expected, Ellenby graduated from Georgetown University Law School and landed a job as a civil rights attorney with the U.S. Department of Justice in Washington, D.C. Around this time, Ellenby met her future husband, Keith Reuben, another successful lawyer working at an esteemed law firm.

Ellenby and Reuben fell in love and got married. She had wanted more time to focus on her career before starting a family, but Ellenby unexpectedly became pregnant. During her tranquil pregnancy, her unborn baby passed every developmental and genetic test. When Ellenby gave birth to a healthy, beautiful boy, she was ecstatic. She and her husband named their first-born child Zack.

Like most overachievers, Ellenby had high expectations for her child. She envisioned what his life would be like, just like the map she had created for her own life, filled with hard-earned diplomas and jobs. However, her perfectly controlled world soon unraveled when she noticed that something with Zack was not quite right, as she describes in her riveting autobiography, “Autism Uncensored: Pulling Back the Curtain” (Koehler Books). Not only does Ellenby’s book let other parents of autistic children empathize with her experiences, it encourages all readers to embrace the idea of inclusion of autistic children and adults in our everyday lives.

Something is not right

Although Ellenby had never had a baby before, she noticed abnormal behavior in her child. Zack would nurse from her so vigorously that he didn’t seem interested in eating as much as in enjoying the physical sensation of mouthing.

When Zack turned 1 year old, his development seemed “sluggish.” He could babble, but didn’t seem to vocalize any distinct words. With no desire to stand or walk, Zack preferred to crawl across the floor. Ellenby also witnessed her son’s “seemingly flat affect and lack of animation when others tried to engage him playfully.”

Zack would, furthermore, flutter his hands at his food, expecting his mother to feed him as she observed his “genuine inability to execute the simple pincher grasp.” The only thing Zack responded to at this age was music, but he still could not respond to his own name. Assuming that perhaps Zack could not hear her voice, Ellenby had his hearing tested. His ears worked, so what was delaying his development?

The evaluation

By the time Zack reached 19 months, he still could not speak and preferred to crawl. Growing increasingly concerned by his lack of maturation, Ellenby took him to the pediatric neurology division at Georgetown University Hospital, where he was evaluated by “an entire team of therapists — occupational, speech, physical.”

As they coaxed Zack along to perform simple tasks, Ellenby became distressed as she saw her son fail “early level motor and language assessments, shuffling across the floor with his peculiar crawl, refusing to bear weight on his feet, slapping away books and turning his indifferent nose up at educational toys.”

After her son’s evaluation, Ellenby was asked by one of the doctors, “Does [Zack] line up objects, or seem fascinated by spinning objects?” Ellenby responded, “Um yes … We have these little round stacking cups and he actually takes my wrist and directs my hand to spin them over and over while he watches.”

“Does he point to direct your attention to favored items?” the doctor inquired. Ellenby embarrassingly answers, “Zack has never pointed, not once.”

When asked what Zack’s general behavior was on a daily basis, Ellenby barely whispered, “Flat.”

The doctor then asked if Zack ever looked excited to see her after time apart. Without hesitation, Ellenby shouted, “Yes!”

Closing the door to his office, the doctor said to Ellenby, “Zack meets the medical criteria for autism spectrum disorder. Zack has autism.”

At that moment, Zack was shuffling on the floor to his shoes to rearrange the laces and then shuffling back to a cabinet door. Then he crawled back to his shoes to adjust his laces again, like a structured routine he kept repeating over and over.

Speaking in a softer voice, the doctor explained, “There are many indicators of a developmental delay, but there’s a certain constellation of symptoms that warrant a diagnosis of autism. They present what we’ve classified as three categories: social deficits, language delay, and perseverative behaviors, which is what he’s doing now, that going back and forth in the identical pattern. It’s an almost ritualistic mode of behavior, what we call ‘self-stimulating,’ which children with autism tend to engage in, because it gives them a sense of comfort and predictability.”

After receiving the evaluation results, Ellenby fell to the floor in sadness and disbelief. What had upset Ellenby the most was the mystery of autism. Nobody knows what causes autism, and there is no remedy for it. Although about one percent of the worldwide population has autism, less than 10 percent of the people with the condition actually recover from it.

While Ellenby’s husband felt responsible for Zack’s condition, because he thought he gave Zack a concussion, she reassured him, “What Zack has is innate and developmental. It was there all along, but we didn’t know it.”

Applied behavioral analysis

Following the recommendations of the doctors at Georgetown University Hospital, Ellenby decided to create a home therapy program for her son following applied behavioral analysis methodology. She sadly abandoned all thoughts of returning to work, as her husband would now finance this intervention program, which would cost their family $80,000 annually — with not one expense covered by insurance.

According to the Lovaas Institute website (www.lovaas.com), the program was developed by psychologist Dr. O. Ivar Lovaas and “is based on 40 years of research and showing half of children with autism who receive this intensive treatment becoming indistinguishable from other children on tests of cognitives and social skills by the time they completed first grade.”

Because of the “dearth of professionals trained to administer Lovaas,” Ellenby flew in a specialist from New York every month to train her and four “in-house” therapists. In order for Zack to succeed in the program, he needed to sit in an isolated room in his home 40 hours week. As Lovaas observed in his experimental groups, anything less than 40 hours a week would result in failure.

Ellenby had a different perception, writing, “ABA etiquette is spelled out in authoritative pieces.” First, the therapists helped Zack identify “emotions, objects, people, or colors via flashcards and manipulative objects.” These drills were repeated over and over until Zack correctly answered the questions “without prompting.”

As Ellenby explained, “Positive reinforcement for correct answers is supplied to Zack continuously throughout the sessions in the form of food — M&Ms, Doritos, anything Zack is willing to work for.” Any self-stimulating behavior he used to calm himself down (such as hand flapping or staring up at lights for long periods of time), had to be suppressed. ABA also adhered to the concept of teaching by imitation as Ellenby and the therapists constantly told Zack, “Do this.”

After six months of therapy, Ellenby was delighted that her son was finally beginning to succeed in the drills. While he became compliant to sit at the table, he still could not speak by age 3, although he and his mother had developed a physical connection by the exhaustive regimen of therapy.

As Zack turned 4, his only verbal success had been in the phrase “I want,” which he did not use with its proper meaning. Ellenby began to lose faith in the program as her son’s eyes showed “a flatness, a dead stare, stoic obedience has replaced fierce resistance: we have beaten him down and drained his fight.”

Ellenby knew her son was no longer showing progress in the program. Every time she saw a child who was the same age as Zack, she was amazed by their verbal expressions. Comparing her son to his peers, Ellenby fell into an isolated depression confined to the walls of the therapy room in her home.

[Editor’s note: This is part one of a two-part story about Whitney Ellenby and her new book “Autism Uncensored: Pulling Back the Curtain.” Look for the conclusion in our June issue.]

Allison Plitt lives in Queens with her 12-year-old daughter and is a frequent contributor to this publication.

Whitney Ellenby and her son Zack.

Relevant Directory Listings

See More

Buckley Day Camp

<p><span style="caret-color: #202020; color: #202020; font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; background-color: #ffffff;">At Buckley Day Camp your children will experience a program designed to meet their individual needs.  Nursery through kindergarten have a traditional day camp program, while 1st – 7th graders have an elective based program.8th & 9th graders participate in a camp/travel program and 10th graders can join their CIT program. Swim instruction daily in 4 outdoor heated pools. Door to door transportation provided on air conditioned mini buses. Lunch & snacks provided daily.</span></p>

Snapology

<blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"> <blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;">Get ready for the best summer ever! Snapology uses LEGO® bricks, K’Nex, and technology to teach children about Science, Technology, Engineering, Art & Math (STEAM) - . Your kids can participate in camps and activities designed to build confidence and make learning fun.  While the kids are having fun with familiar themes, toys, laptops and iPads, we sneak in the learning! </span></div> </blockquote> <div> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></div> </div> </blockquote> <blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"> <blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;">WHAT MAKES OUR CAMP UNIQUE?</span></div> </blockquote> <blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></div> </blockquote> <blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;">Build Confidence with Hands-On Learning</span></div> </blockquote> <blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;">Snapology offers a variety of programs designed to reinforce core competencies and curricula being taught at each grade level. Our programs can be customized based on the # of children, age of children, time allotment and/or other special requirements. We adapt to your goals and objectives.</span></div> </blockquote> </blockquote> <blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></div> </blockquote> <blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"> <blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;">Social Skill Development</span></div> </blockquote> <blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"> <div class="gmail_default"> <div><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;">Snapology’s flexible curriculum allows teachers to adapt to the needs of each unique group of students while allowing children to progress and explore at their own pace. The curriculum is designed to benefit all students - gifted, traditional, and non-typical learners.</span></div> <div><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></div> </div> </blockquote> <blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;">Certified Educators</span></div> </blockquote> <blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"> <div class="gmail_default"> <div><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;">All Snapology Teachers hold current Teaching Certifications and promote the creativity, teamwork, and problem-solving skills while educating students on STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Art & Math).</span></div> <div><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></div> </div> </blockquote> <blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;">Small Groups</span></div> </blockquote> <blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"> <div class="gmail_default"> <div><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;">1:6 teacher to student ratio. Smaller intentional camps for more engagement and personalized experiences </span></div> <div><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></div> </div> </blockquote> <blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;">Updates via Class Dojo</span></div> </blockquote> <blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"> <div class="gmail_default"> <div><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;">During camp days, Class Dojo is used to update caregivers on how their child is adapting throughout the day. Message the camp leaders directly and request updates, photos, and videos, accordingly!</span></div> <div><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></div> <div><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt;">Demand for small format camps is high and capacity is limited so don't delay. Enroll your child today!</span></div> </div> </blockquote> </blockquote>

Center for Architecture Summer Programs

<p>The Center for Architecture promotes public understanding and appreciation of architecture and design through educational programs for K-12 students and teachers, families, and the general public.</p> <p>Summer Programs give curious kids an opportunity to dive into an architectural topic of interest and test out their own design ideas. Each program explores a different theme through art and building activities, design challenges, guided investigations of architectural examples, and special site visits.</p> <p>Summer Programs are week-long classes, Monday – Friday, for students entering grades 3-5, 6-8, or 9-12 in Fall 2023. This summer, we are offering programs both in-person at the Center for Architecture and online. Need-based scholarships are available (application deadline May 1).</p> <p>2023 Programs run June 26 – August 25. Topics listed below. See website for specific dates, prices, scholarship information, and registration.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>Grades 3-5</strong></span></p> <p>Parks and Playgrounds</p> <p>Treehouses</p> <p>Building Bridges</p> <p>Animal Architecture</p> <p>Architectural Wonders</p> <p>Lunar Living</p> <p>Store Design</p> <p>Dream House</p> <p>Skyscrapers</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>Grades 6-8</strong></span></p> <p>Green Island Home</p> <p>Treehouses</p> <p>Digital Design: Lunar Living – Online</p> <p>Skyscrapers</p> <p>Digital Design: Bridges</p> <p>Public Art and Architecture</p> <p>Survival Architecture</p> <p>Digital Design: Tiny Houses</p> <p>Store Design</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>Grades 9-12</strong></span></p> <p>Drawing Architecture – In-Person</p> <p>Drawing Architecture – Online</p> <p>Architectural Design Studio (2-week program)</p> <p>Digital Design: City Design – Online</p> <p>Digital Design: Tiny Houses – Online</p> <p>Pop-Up Shop</p> <p>Digital Design: House of the Future</p> <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0in 0.5in; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"> </p>