Dream: I come home from my favorite ballet class in a dandy mood but upon entering my room find an eviction notice on my crib telling me that I need to pack up and get out before a new baby takes residence in September. Thank goodness it is an April’s Fools joke.
Reality: I have been the center of the universe since I was born. I have Mommy, Daddy, and puppy’s unconditional love and undivided attention. I like it this way and so do they. We have a very good thing going on if you ask me. As of late, many of my friend’s mommies started to have growing bellies and then the belly pops and soon after a baby brother or sister shows up at the house for my friend. And just like that the universe is interrupted.
Don’t get me wrong. It is fun playing with these little siblings and all but I can see how they get my pals in trouble so I rather leave them at their house. Plus they cry a lot but they do not have an off button like my toys. Mommies should really work on that when they make the babies. I thought Mommies were smarter than that.
Speaking of smarts, being the smart cookie that I am, I noticed my mommy’s belly growing and she confirmed that I am going to be a big sister. If I could swear I would but I don’t know those words yet. I am going to have a little sister. Wow. The poop is going to hit the fan…literally and figuratively. When asked what’s in Mommy’s belly I say “my sister.” And I repeatedly ask Mommy to please “take her out so I can see her” but Mommy says the baby is still growing. The baby must be hungry because Mommy starts eating more and yummier snacks and sharing them with me, especially these amazing cookies that are somewhat addictive called Oreos. I decide we are naming my sister Oreo. Daddy says we are going to name the baby – but I cut him off and say: “You can call her baby but I’m calling her Oreo.” Mommy agrees. It’s a done deal. Daddy is outnumbered.
Then I pause to soak this whole big sister thing in and know I can do this. I already sleep in a big kid’s bed, dress myself, pick out Mommy and Daddy’s outfits, cook, play golf, and occasionally pee consistently on the potty. Mommy and Daddy and puppy and I –we can do anything together.
Clearly I will be the best big sister ever—just ask my baby dolls. I can feed them, bathe them, change diapers, give them fun stroller rides as I run down the street, and most importantly, play hard and throw them up in the air and catch them most of the time. And I already do everything in the big sister book that Mommy reads me almost every night. (At first I loved the book but I think I got the message by now. Let’s get some new books, Mommy.) So I must be trained and ready to be the greatest big sister.
Mommy and Daddy keep telling me about how I was as a baby and I sound like a perfect baby. I enjoyed eating, crying, pooping, and sleeping. But what if Oreo is not as perfect as me? What if she doesn’t have electric blue eyes, a winning smile, and great intellect and humor? And what if she doesn’t want to wear headbands (clearly she will not wear bows as that is my signature item)? Can we send her back or trade her for a new one? Or if I just want to be an only child for a while, can puppy take her on a long walk? Honestly, I am not sure if I want to share my family since I think it is wonderful just the way it is. Maybe I don’t want to be a fantastic big sister after all.
As Mommy’s belly gets bigger, I get a bit worried but Mommy does, too, and she tells me it’s okay to have these feelings. I say “hi” to Oreo, read books to her, pet her gently like puppy taught me how, and even kiss Mommy’s belly. Plus, my big sib friends are smart and honest so I trust them and they tell me that even if I hate it at first, that in time, I will enjoy being a big sister and will really love my little sister. We can play and run and do cool things as she gets bigger. I will always be the first born, cool big sister! And besides, Mommy and Daddy loved me first. I am Elle Belle, the first, the one and only! And I am loved. And nothing will ever change that.