First Year Blues

The first year of motherhood can be so overwhelming, it’s not unusual to find yourself just trying to get through one more day. Hours of you and the baby cooped up inside the apartment—battling dirty diapers, naps, fussiness, etc.– can quickly start to feel mundane. Just weeks after my son was born, I actually found myself fantasizing about the day he turned 18! Which is why I was so happy to come across this essay by Julie Aigner-Clark, a mother of two. I first read it in the book, “The Imperfect Mom: Candid Confessions of Moms Living in the Real World,” when my son was a few months old and it was just the kind of reminder I needed to savor the time I had with him a newborn as much as I could—rather than wish it away.

Aigner-Clark wrote the piece when her kids were older and remembers those tired first years when all she wanted was sleep later, go out to a nice dinner—anything but the mommy chores she did all day long. But now that they’re grown up? Well, she wishes they were little again. “Can’t wait till she can walk; can’t wait till they can play together; can’t wait till she sleeps through the night. Can’t wait till they go to school.” she remembers thinking.“They’re in school, now, and the house is empty. But for me.”

New York Family recently published the essay in the April issue, and you can read it here.