Special recognition on Father’s Day is nice, but that doesn’t change the fact that the rest of the year many dads—just like moms—often feel anxious and overwhelmed. One of the keys to living a more balanced life? Staying on top of your health—and that starts with your mental well-being. We asked local therapist Clay Cockrell, who uses an innovative “walk and talk” method with his patients, for tips on how dads can better manage stress and balance their work and family lives.
BE PRESENT. When you arrive home after a long day of work and are still thinking about the office, “you’re not doing either job well,” says Cockrell. “You can be a really good employee or a really good father—but not at the same time.” Instead, come home, put everything down, give yourself a few moments and take a couple of deep breaths. Once you change your perspective, you will realize that when you are home the priority is your family, not your work.
LISTEN. “Sometimes the greatest thing is for a dad to come home and say, ‘Tell me about your day,’” says Cockrell. Laugh at your children’s stories. Share their excitement about their discoveries. Learn about their friends and their latest interests—and use their interests to give you better ideas for things to do with them in the future.
MAKE A DATE. Lots of working dads worry about not having enough time to spend with their children. And with electronic devices like Blackberrys, business now often seeps into the home. If you need to, try scheduling time with your child. “Rarely is there a time when an e-mail is so important that it has to be answered right away,” Cockrell says. Set aside time each night or create a special day each week or month that will be uninterrupted. “Let [your child] pick what you’re going to do; make them an active participant,” Cockrell suggests.
DON’T BE SCARED. New dads (and old!) shouldn’t be afraid to mess up! Parenting isn’t easy. “You’re going to do the wrong thing; we all do,” says Cockrell. He suggests that dads try to “remember what things went really well for your own dad and then the things that didn’t, [and try the] things that you wish maybe he had done.”
—Noelia de la Cruz
It’s A Yogi’s World
Though it may be more popular among women, that
doesn’t mean yoga is not just as beneficial to men—especially busy dads
looking to stay in shape. “Men have been suspicious that it’s not a real
workout, but [a lot of them] end up being surprised,” says John
Capouya, author of the book, “Real Men Do Yoga: 21 Star Athletes Reveal
Their Secrets for Strength, Flexibility and Peak Performance” (HarperCollins, $12.95).
Capouya says yoga can be part of an overall fitness
routine that includes cardio and weight training. And advantages of
doing yoga extend beyond increased strength and flexibility. “You really
see improved sports performance and that’s why professional athletes do
it,” Capouya says. He also adds that yoga can lower blood pressure and
even help you focus at work. “I interviewed a bond trader [who said] he
thinks it helps him trade bonds better,” he says.
If you’re trying yoga for
the first time, Capouya suggests starting with simple postures at home
using books or websites like iyogalife. com or yogajournal.com. Or, take
a class. A good type for beginners is Hatha, which offers a general
introduction to the practice.
—Teresa Tobat
A Healthy Father’s Day Brunch
Kelsey Banfield, the food
blogger behind “The Naptime Chef” and a contributor to New York Family’s
blog Yummy Delicious, offers this menu as a nutritious and delicious
meal dads will love. For complete recipes, visit Yummy Delicious.
COCKTAIL: Watermelon
Margarita
APPETIZERS: Guacamole
and Chips, Rosemary Bar Nuts
MAIN COURSE: Grilled
Tuna Sandwich with Red Cabbage Slaw
SIDE DISH: Linguini
Tossed with Fresh Pesto
VEGETABLE: Roasted
Asparagus with Parmesan
DESSERT: Strawberry-Raspberry
Crumble with Fresh Vanilla Ice-Cream
