From One Mom to Another: The New Paying It Forward Phenomenon on TikTok
You walk down the baby aisle at Target and see the regular essentials: baby lotion, infant Tylenol, and something that doesn’t belong: a purse. Most people may not even stop to think twice, but moms everywhere know what it means. Motherhood comes with the understanding that making daily sacrifices is part of the job. Mothers are always sacrificing something they want for something their children need. In this case, it’s a no-brainer; you leave the purse behind and take the baby’s essentials. Only this time, another mom noticed and understood what that purse meant.
This was the story of Denaesha Gonzalez, a mom, and creator who sparked one of the latest trends to hit TikTok by moms for moms, “she deserved the purse.” It started with a video that she hoped would resonate with at least one mom, but just under a month later, millions of moms shared their stories, started conversations, and began a movement of paying it forward to the moms everywhere who deserved their purses.
Breaking Down “She Deserved the Purse”
Denaesha Gonzalez was shopping in Target one day and was brought back to the times when she, as a mom, had to sacrifice not just wants but needs to be able to provide for her son. So she made a short video recording what she found in the aisle, and 4 million likes later, women are resonating with the feeling of being seen.
In a video explaining to her audience, she says, “Whenever I saw the purse, I didn’t see a mom who complained about putting the purse down; she naturally put it down because she knew that she needed to tend to her child.” She continues, “It’s not even a second thought you just naturally do it… the purse was not the point; the point is just the beauty and the sacrifices that we make as parents because we want to.”
The original video caught the attention of her friend, mom, and fellow creator, Cecily Bauchmann. Bauchmann was inspired to start paying it forward to other moms and encourage those who can do the same. In her video, she says she remembered putting back certain things she couldn’t afford and begins to head to the baby aisle and place gift cards with notes that read, “Hey! You deserve that special “you” thing. You are amazing! xoxo!”
A movement was started with fellow moms and creators heading to Target and placing gift cards or money in baby products to show love to moms everywhere. Unfortunately, like most trends that hit larger audiences, this trend got to the wrong side of TikTok, with some people heading to stores to take the money for themselves.
Fortunately, moms like Denaesha have figured out a way around that and continue to inspire us all to find ways to keep paying it forward.
Paying it Forward to Moms Everywhere
Make Mommy Goody Bags
This idea comes straight from the original creator who sparked the trend. She spotted what some people were doing online and took matters into her own hands. Gonzalez decided to head to Target and grab some bags filled with mommy essentials like a robe, a throw blanket, a journal, pens, a Stanley cup, and more to hand out to moms. She headed to Walmart, Target, and Dollar General to give them out in the parking lots to show appreciation. This is a great way to pay it forward to moms in your community directly; at least one good bag can make any mom’s day.
Psst.. check out A Guide to New York City Volunteering
Donate to Organizations that Help Moms
Throughout the country, there are several organizations dedicated to helping moms everywhere. Below are just a few that can get you started on paying it forward today.
Help a Mother Out
Help a Mother Out provides diapers to families in need, aiming to improve the well-being of babies and families. Diapers are essential for reducing the risk of diseases and enabling babies to participate in early care and education programs. With diapers costing between $90 and $135 per month, many families struggle to afford them. Access to diapers is crucial for all families’ well-being and future success. You can donate to Help a Mother Out today by heading to www.helpamotherout.org.
Helping Hands for Single Moms
Helping Hands for Single Moms aims to support low-income single mothers pursuing higher education and financial independence. The organization offers a range of assistance, including scholarship money, auto repairs, emergency funds, tech support, healthcare services, budget management, and mentoring. They also provide professional counseling and legal counsel to help single mothers overcome their challenges. You can find several ways to support by heading to helpinghandsforsinglemoms.org.
Every Mother Counts
Every Mother Counts aims to ensure that all mothers receive high-quality, respectful, and fair maternity care. The organization achieves this through grants and partnerships to raise awareness and mobilize communities. They use storytelling, filmmaking, and research to shed light on global maternal health challenges and provide accessible content and resources to inspire action and change. Every Mother Counts also invests in community-based programs to improve access to quality maternity care, particularly for underserved and marginalized women. Keep paying it forward and join the Every Mother Counts movement by heading to everymothercounts.org.
Postpartum Support International
Postpartum Support International works to raise awareness and provide treatment for mental health issues related to childbearing worldwide. They strive to ensure that every woman and family has access to necessary information, social support, and professional care. Their site offers a variety of ways you can begin helping moms and the organization today; head to www.postpartum.net/join-us for more information.
New Moms
New Moms supports young mothers in achieving stability and well-being, envisioning a thriving future for every young family. Their programs focus on reducing stress, building connections, and setting personalized goals. Bright Endeavors, their social enterprise, is an integral part of their job training program, providing skills and career opportunities for young mothers. You can make an impact on a young mom’s life today by heading to newmoms.org.
There are many ways to give back to moms globally and in your community today. If you can and feel called to, keep the trend going and continue paying forward today and beyond. And to every mom out there, YOU deserve the purse.
Psst.. check out A Guide to Volunteering on Long Island
