Samantha Bee has made me laugh so hard I’ve hiccupped for 23 minutes straight as I watched her flex her funny bone on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. She has made me cackle to the point where I’ve forgotten what time it was as I devour the essays in her book I Know I Am, But What Are You?. And yes, I’ve snickered so fiercely reading her “Eating Over The Sink” blog on Babble.com, that I have, as we say in our abode, tooted.
Over a relaxed afternoon conversation at a chic hotel bar, Samantha confesses, shares and confides about her life and experiences in parenthood with an equal measure of wit and honesty—from working with her husband and the one thing in this world that will make her “Tiger-Mom out,” to how her boobs will look after breastfeeding for 72 months straight. Find out how this smart and hilarious mom navigates New York City with three kids—and what makes her laugh.
You’re the Most Senior Correspondent on The Daily Show, you guest star on tons of television shows and movies, you’ve written a book, you blog, you have three kids under the age of six [Piper, 6-years-old; Fletcher, 3; and Ripley, 17 months], you have good hair…how do you get it all done? Do you have a clone?
Yes—and my clone technology is about to take the world by storm. I have a science lab in my apartment… I should, for the record, say I don’t live in a one-bedroom
apartment anymore. I live in a 2.5-bedroom apartment.
What is in the “point-five” room?
The point-five room is what we use as a home office, but basically, it’s just a different kind of playroom with important documents that the baby can get into. She knows our passports are in there, and she should go for them…and we are not smart enough to move our passports to higher ground.
So how do you do it all?
I really don’t think I do anything unusual. Jason is one-half of our whole, so I have a complete 50% partner in this experience. Together, we are constantly doing teamwork at all points of the day. Our work environment is so supportive about our schedule. We are very fortunate.
You and Jason Jones, fellow Daily Show correspondent, raise a family and work together. Do you ever get sick of each other?
I did notice last week, on many occasions, he did not listen to the details of what I was saying and then even when he would ask me about those details later on, and I repeated the details, he wasn’t even listening then. So, I think that he has an effective way of tuning me out when he needs private mental space. Everyone needs private mental space.
You met doing children’s theater. Who told the first joke? 
Doing children’s theater is a free-for-all for jokes, so I couldn’t even tell you. The first time we really noticed each other is so nerdy. Somebody asked me what my favorite movie was of all time. I had to say that my sentimental favorite was Star
Wars, and that was the first time he ever really looked at me.
You write a Babble blog called “Eating Over The Sink” with fellow Canadian funny mom/actress Allana Harkin. What seems to be the parenting topic that really riles up the blogosphere?
We didn’t realize that the topic of breastfeeding was the world’s most hot button issue. I wrote a post thinking about what shape my boobs will be once I stop breastfeeding. I’m still breastfeeding, and I was thinking about how my older daughter just turned six, so I haven’t really seen [my boobs] au natural, with no other usage in six years. I have no idea what they will look like. They could look the same. They could be ten times better…though, that’s not my impulse.
So what happened on the blog?
I was just ruminating on that topic, and it made people go ballistic. Basically, I got accused of sabotaging people who wanted to breastfeed, as the message I was putting out into the universe about breastfeeding wasn’t necessarily 100% positive. So, our retort was, “Did you not read the part where I was breastfeeding for 72 months straight?” What I do support is choice in all matters concerning your own body. The reactions [to our blog] have been very positive, and the negativity has been more interesting and slightly more amusing than horrifying, and it’s very infrequent.
Both you and Jason are on TV and both of you have guest starred on Sesame Street. Do your kids think that’s cool?
No. They don’t think that we are cool or what we do is cool. They think everyone’s parents are on TV. They don’t have a frame of reference. We did take them to the set when I filmed my part as Mother Goose, and that was exciting.
Did they meet Elmo?
They did. I know that some kids will go up and hug [the characters]. My kids were just so overwhelmed that they withdrew inward. You could tell they were excited and loved it, but were completely in shock. We have pictures. They look like a bomb just went off.
Are your kids funny?
I think they are the funniest creatures on earth. The baby just told her first joke. She pointed to herself [and] said, “Daddy,” and thought it was hilarious. She cracked herself up.
How was the whole “getting the kids into school/preschool” process for you?
It was incredibly intimidating and I don’t recommend it. [laughing] We are totally happy where we are, we love it, but by the end of the process, we were going into school interviews and saying, “I don’t care what you are teaching, just make her smarter than me, and we’re good with that!”
It’s such a hectic process.
I think the parents of New York should go on a school strike. I mean, if we all agreed [to] keep our children out of school until all of these organizations got their shit straight and not make it such an incredibly overwhelming and horrendous experience, things would be better. They would, of course, have to fix the public schools… That is kind of a little thing, but when I rule the world, I will fix this for everybody.
I’ve read in other interviews that The Bee-Jones family often heads out of town on the weekends, but what is your ideal family day in the city?
We go to Landmarc for breakfast—they have lots of highchairs, it’s yummy, and I feel like a grown-up there. Then, it involves some type of stroll to a farmers market. It’s not everybody else’s idea of fun, but it is fun for me, and since this is about me and my ideal day, then we are going to a farmer’s market and I am loading up on parsnips and hand-twisted pretzels. Then we come home, the children watch a movie, and we just sort of hang out.
It’s the time for New York Family‘s version of the Proust Questionnaire.
Are you going to make me cry? Because one time, a person did that. I literally made myself cry.
Do you cry often? I mean, your home must be filled with laughter all of the time.
I am a crier. We are all just really emotional. We just let it hang out because there is no point in keeping it in.
Okay, here we go: What’s your favorite word your kids say?
I love it when my son says “hamburger” because he says “hangaber.” I find it hilarious. I’m always asking him to say “hamburger” and then laugh at him. I’m sure it is damaging him psychologically.
Favorite noise in your home?
When they are all giggling together.
Least favorite noise in your home?
When they are all whining together. You have to separate them and figure out where battle lines are.
Best advice you were given about parenthood?
“When children are born, you have to make them fit into your life. You shouldn’t have to fit into their life.” We really took that to heart, and it has worked very well for us.
Best advice you give to others about parenthood?
I gave Allana this advice without even being aware of it, and it helped her immeasurably. I said that all mothers are liars. We don’t even know we are doing it. You forget the details [of those first days and months with a baby]. You end up telling lies about how it all went for you—it wasn’t that bad—because that is how you remember it, but you have forgotten how hard it was. We aren’t being malicious about it, but we end up spreading misinformation to new moms, who then think they are doing something wrong—and it terrifies them.
What natural talent do you wish you were born with?
I wish I were born with musical talent. Doesn’t everyone say that who isn’t a musician? I wish that my parents had forced me to take piano lessons.
Are you going to make your kids learn the piano?
I am so laissez-faire about a lot of things, but in this one sliver of my kids’ existence, I am going to Tiger-Mom out. It can be any instrument, but preferably not the bassoon…no offense to bassoon players.
What natural talent do you hope your kids were born with?
I hope that they have a confidence about them and that they aren’t fearful about saying “no” to people—and I don’t mean that in a creepy way. I mean that I hope they love themselves, and that they have an inner fortitude to express themselves and get what they want out of life. Whatever it happens to be that they want, I hope they have the gusto to know they can have that.
What makes you laugh?
My kids make me laugh, my husband makes me laugh, my “unit” makes me laugh harder than everything. It brings me joy. Look at me…I’m close to tears now.
If you didn’t have kids, what would you be doing tonight?
Trying to figure out a way to have kids, probably. Before we had kids, Jason and I would go on so many walks—we walked and walked and talked and talked. We still sort of do that, but now we do it sitting.
