Like most parents, actress Amy Wilson felt pressure to do “the right thing” for her three children, now seven, five, and two-and-a-half years old. Then, during a preschool interview, she had an epiphany: “It hit me like a ton of bricks that I was not enjoying parenting my children,” she says. When asked what she did for fun with her children, Wilson blanked. “I was naming stuff that I did because I thought it was right for them, but I couldn’t say that I really enjoyed any of it. It was all stuff I did because I thought I ought to.” That, Wilson says, is when she told herself, “I gotta stop living this way!”
The simple enjoyment of being a parent, of taking pleasure in doing things with your children on their own terms, is a message Wilson says mothers need to hear. It it is the over-arching message of her one-woman play, “Mother Load,” which premiered in Pennsylvania and has enjoyed a successful off-Broadway run and national tour since 2007. Described by The New York Times as “like ‘Annie Hall’ wearing a nursing bra,” the show is at once funny and confessional, covering everything from organic baby food to self-important lactation consultants and confronting the impossible standards and guilt faced by modern-day moms.
Inspired by the reception “Mother Load” received, Wilson translated that same message into her new book her new book, “When Did I Get Like This? The Screamer, the Worrier, the Dinosaur-Chicken-Nugget-Buyer, and Other Mothers I Swore I’d Never Be,” a funny and insightful memoir which hit shelves last month. “I had to get back in touch with enjoying parenting, instead of being stressed about doing it well,” Wilson says.
So what does Wilson actually enjoy doing with her children? Going to Symphony Space! “It’s always good,” she says. “You can count on showing up and the kids are going to have a good time.” She also reads Harry Potter with her oldest son, and makes time to help her daughter brush her dolly’s hair. Setting aside the Blackberry and other distractions of modern life is important, she says. “They just need a couple of minutes of your undivided attention.”
She emphasizes that Wilson also wants moms to know that it’s also OK to take time out for yourself. For her, that sometimes means leaving her youngest with a babysitter in order to write. “I carry around such guilt for that, but I also know that when I see my daughter later I’ll feel so creatively fulfilled and I will be a much more patient and loving parent for her,” she says.
It’s a necessary juggling act that allows her to spend time with her children while balancing a growing career that includes acting, comedy improv, and writing. “Not that I’m so evolved and never stress and never yell,” she admits. “I’m still crazy every day! But I am trying to become a calmer and more present parent and not worry about all that nonsense that just gets in the way.”
