Toddlers Take Over The Internet

Toddlers are natural comedic fodder: They can speak, but they can’t quite articulate; they’re slowly beginning to understand the world around them, but are also incredibly volatile. As more parents (and non-parents) have begun chronicling the everyday hilarities and creating fictional parodies of the toddler world through laugh-out-loud funny social media accounts, web series, and more, we decided to round up some of our favorites below. Enjoy!

Twitter: Los Feliz Daycare (@losfelizdaycareToddler_Computer_10378623_H

What It’s All About: Comedy writer Jason Shapiro started the Twitter account @LosFelizdaycare, a parody account following the happenings at fictional LA daycare in an “affluent hillside neighborhood.” Although he is not a father himself, Shapiro has told CBS Los Angeles that the inspiration for these LOL-worthy tweets, which include references to Burning Man and raw diets, from his co-workers experiences as parents. He has over 69,000 followers.

Why We Love It: The account frequently incorporates references to current events, like: “We’re hearing that Kale-ah won’t go to sleep because ‘the only person in this world she can trust is Bernie Sanders.’”

Funniest Recent Post: “Agave (89 weeks) had an ‘accident’ but we’re choosing to label it ‘creative expression.’”

Instagram & Tumblr: If Toddlers Texted (@iftoddlerstexted & iftoddlerstexted.tumblr.com)

What It’s All About: Thinking of toddlers with smartphones is funny in and of itself, but an anonymous parent has created Tumblr and Instagram accounts which post screenshots of conversations toddlers might have with their parents, friends or grandparents over text.

Why We Love It: From middle-of-the-night texts to conversations with friends while in time-out, this account highlights all of the mischievous situations toddlers find themselves in.

Favorite post: Toddler: Are you sleeping? Mama: Please let this be a nightmare. Toddler: I’m very hungry. Mama: What did I do to deserve this? Toddler: Also I peed down to the mattress. Mama: Your killing me. Toddler: *you’re

Instagram: My Kid Can’t Eat This (@mykidcanteatthis)

What It’s All About: We all know that the task of getting your children to eat healthy foods can be a struggle. Combine that with the silly reasons young picky eaters often give for rejecting their food, and you get the hilarious My Kid Can’t Eat This Instagram account, which posts pictures of food that rea-life kids refuse to eat, captioned with their quotes explaining why. The account has even grown into its own website, pickykidsclub.com, which offers tips and recipes to help deal with picky eaters. The account has over 140,000 followers.

Why We Love It: Comprised entirely of re-posts from parents, using the hashtag #mykidcanteatthis, the account serves as an outlet for parents to express their amusement and exasperation over preparing a meal for their child and then having them fail to eat it.

Funniest Recent Post: Caption on a picture of mac and cheese with shell pasta. “#MyKidCantEatThis because shells go in the ocean. He was upset when I ate my portion.”

Pinterest: My Imaginary Well-Dressed Toddler Daughter (pinterest.com/tiffanywbwg)

What It’s All About: This Pinterest account follows the style evolution of an imaginary child named Quinoa, while also poking fun at the fashion industry and over-the-top aspirational Pinterest boards. The site originally started out on Pinterest, but creator Tiffany Beveridge now has corresponding Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook accounts and released a book—How to Quinoa: Life Lesson from My Imaginary Well-Dressed Daughter.

Why We Love It: The posts gently mock some of the over-the-top styles available for toddler girls, and the wildly unrealistic “aspirational” images on Pinterest. Plus, Quinoa’s imaginary friends also have some great names: The gang includes Chevron, Meridian, and Hewn.

Favorite post: “Although Quinoa and Chevron recruited Mezzanine for their Indoor Soccer Jump Rope League, they had serious misgivings when she showed up for team photos at the stadium in athletic gear.”

YouTube: Conversations With My 2-Year-Old (youtube.com/user/ConvosWith2YrOld)

What It’s All About: Dad Matthew Clarke reenacts conversations that he’s had with his daughter—with another full-grown man—in this hilarious YouTube series.

Why We Love It: From the outrageous outfits that actor David Milchard wears to portray Clarke’s daughter, Coco (spoiler: He wears a hair clip) to the topics portrayed in each episode, the series nails the absurdity of the kinds of conversations parents of toddlers know all too well, though the mini episodes are enough to make anyone laugh.

Favorite post: Season 1, Episode 6: “The Pants”

Blog & Twitter: The Honest Toddler (@HonestToddler; thehonesttoddler.com)

What It’s All About: Real-life mom Bunmi Laditan had a dream of becoming an author. Little did she know that a Twitter account in the unfiltered perspective of a toddler would lead her to that dream. The Twitter account has over 312,000 followers and Laditan has now released two books: Toddlers are A**holes and The Honest Toddler: A Child’s Guide to Parenting. The snarky remarks about adults from an imagined toddler’s perspective can resonate with all parents.

Why We Love It: We all know that toddlers lack a filter. The Honest Toddler’s hilariously blunt remarks shed a comical light on the mundane activities that are often the most difficult when it comes to toddlers (e.g. meals and bedtime). Also, the remarks on adult behavior are so spot-on, you’ll feel like the Honest Toddler is reading your mind.

Funniest Recent Post: “She just told Facebook she’s making dinner. Since when do rum and cokes count as cooking?”

Tumblr: Reasons My Son is Crying (reasonsmysoniscrying.com)

What It’s All About: Dad Greg Pembroke started posting pictures of his three-year-old son throwing tantrums. Captioned with the often absurd reasons that incite a toddler meltdown. As the site caught on, parents from all over the world began submitting photos showing their children’s tantrums, and Pembroke has published a book of the submissions: Reasons My Kid is Crying.

Why We Love It: The site perfectly captures the silliness inherent in even some of the most stressful parenting moments, and provides fatigued parents everywhere with some great comic relief. Plus, Pembroke also shares snippets of the ridiculous day-to-day conversations that parents often find themselves having with their young children.

Funniest Recent Post: “He doesn’t want the banana he wasn’t offered.”

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Homage Skateboard Academy

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Our Summer Program provides a well balanced INDOOR and OUTDOOR camp experience </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space-collapse: preserve;">in the Gowanus/Boerum Hill area.</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> Kids can take advantage of both the physical and mental benefits of exercise and outdoor exploration, along with indoor activities in a temperature controlled state of the art Skatepark. Campers build their skate skills in a fun and safe indoor environment, then take those skills outdoors gaining further confidence in their abilities.</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"> </p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In addition to daily outdoor programming, each Wednesday (weather permitting), we will go on a mini field trip to a local skatepark or skate spot.  Field trip spots include: Prospect Park, Washington Park (Brooklyn), Thomas Greene Park, a local Skateshop, Astoria Park (dependent on the group). We will spend more outdoor time on field trip day! We will meet at Homage in the morning during regular drop off hours and then head out for the day.</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Our experienced instructors love to teach skateboarding and are constantly progressing in their teaching abilities, just like their skating abilities. Our coaches are Red Cross Certified for both CPR and First Aid, and have years of child care experience. Our brand new Skatepark, designed and built by World Class Skatepark Builders Push Parks, allows for skaters of any level or ability to learn, practice, and have fun!</span></p> <p style="caret-color: #222222; color: #222222; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; margin: 0px;"><strong id="docs-internal-guid-db7b5156-7fff-c2d6-b5c1-33b29def4b3e" style="font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration: none; caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; font-weight: normal;"> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">AGES 6-14 </span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">5:1 RATIO - STUDENTS:COACHES</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">ALL LEVELS WELCOME</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">LOANER BOARDS AVAILABLE</span></p> <p style="caret-color: #222222; color: #222222; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; margin: 0px;"><strong style="font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration: none; caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; font-weight: normal;"> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Sessions offered mid-June-August</p> <p style="caret-color: #222222; color: #222222; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; margin: 0px;"><strong style="font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration: none; caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; font-weight: normal;"> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><strong><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">HOURS</span></strong></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">EARLY DROP OFF 8:30am-9:00am</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">CAMP DAY 9:00am-3:00pm</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">LATE PICKUP* 3:00pm-4:00pm Skating Allowed, Extra Time to Practice</span></p> <p style="caret-color: #222222; color: #222222; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; margin: 0px;"><strong style="font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration: none; caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; font-weight: normal;"> </strong></p>

Trinity School

<p dir="ltr">Come join us for another summer of fun, exploration and discovery. Our campers get to engage with each other in the following activities: Swimming, Golf, Chess, Lego Robotics, Art, Dance, Multisports and Storytelling (subject to change)…and of course, ice cream or ices every day! We will supply our campers with a daily snack but you will need to provide your own lunch. Come join us for a fantastic summer!!!</p> <p dir="ltr">Camp runs from 8:30am - 3pm.</p> <p dir="ltr">Session #1: Tuesday, June 20th - Friday, June 23rd (closed Monday 6/19th)</p> <p dir="ltr">Session #2: Monday, June 26th - Friday, June 30th </p> <p dir="ltr">Session #3: Tuesday, July 3rd - Friday, July 7th (closed Tuesday, July 4th)</p> <p dir="ltr">Session #4: Monday, July 10th - Friday, July 14th </p> <p dir="ltr"> Session #5: Monday, July 17th – Friday, July 21st </p> <p dir="ltr">       For more information, please contact:</p> <p dir="ltr">        Seth Goldberg,</p> <p dir="ltr">        Director of Afterschool Programs & Summer Coordinator </p> <p dir="ltr">        Ph: (212) 932-6849</p> <p dir="ltr">        E: seth.goldberg@trinityschoolnyc.org</p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.44; margin-left: 36pt; background-color: #ffffff; margin-top: 2pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"> </p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-849a3a81-7fff-34df-9c6e-6714b519a740"></span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.44; margin-left: 36pt; background-color: #ffffff; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; padding: 2pt 0pt 0pt 0pt;"> </p>

Rodeph Sholom School Day Camp

<p>Rodeph Sholom School Day Camp is devoted to celebrating the joys of childhood. Our enthusiastic and compassionate staff are dedicated to providing a memorable, safe, and fun summer experience where children pursue passions while gaining new experiences. Our thoughtful, age appropriate programming enables children to grow as individuals and make lifelong friendships.</p> <p>This Summer, we believe kids need camp more than ever!</p> <p>More friendships than ever!</p> <p>More community building than ever!</p> <p>More connection making than ever!</p> <p>More activities than ever!</p> <p>More joy than ever!</p> <p>More ruach (spirit) than ever!</p> <p>More camp magic than ever! </p> <p>More FUN THAN EVER! </p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Who We Are</strong></p> <p>Rodeph Sholom School Day Camp engages children <strong>ages Three through 6th Grade</strong> through experiences that help build a positive sense of self, strong peer relationships, skill development in a range of areas, exposure to new and existing passions.</p> <p>We are a strong community that celebrates each individual. Our camp feels like home to all of our campers and staff.</p> <p><strong>Our Mission</strong></p> <p>Our strong culture and community allows each child to discover new passions, create life-long friendships, and find a strong sense of belonging</p> <p><strong>Pursuit of Passion Elective Program</strong></p> <p>All of our rising 1st through 6th graders will have a two-hour long elective period daily, which is a chance to pursue an old or new passion. At the beginning of each two week session, campers have a chance to sign up for their Pursuit of Passion elective, or if they’d like, they can sign up for a mix of two passions to explore. After their Pursuit of Passion period ends in the morning, campers will return to their bunk group for a day full of sports, arts, swim, and more.</p> <p><strong>Possible Pursuits of Passion programs include:</strong></p> <p>- Sports (Floor Hockey, Soccer, Basketball, Skateboarding, Gymnastics, etc.)</p> <p>- Chess</p> <p>- Woodworking</p> <p>- Studio Arts</p> <p>- Hebrew</p> <p>- Performance Arts</p> <p>- Music (Rock band, DJing, Acapella)</p> <p>- Cooking</p> <p>- Business and Debate</p> <p>- Outdoor Adventure</p> <p>- Architecture</p> <p>- STEM Based Programming</p>