When I was the first-time mom of a newborn, I was completely overwhelmed. In the midst of nap time battles, endless diaper changes, and severe sleep deprivation, things can seem pretty dire. I found myself looking forward to the time my son was a teenager and could take care of himself!
Then, just when I needed it most, I came across this essay by Julie Aigner-Clark, whose kids are now grown up. Whenever I’d find myself wishing time away, I’d remember her thoughtful words about how important it is to treasure your time with your newborn as much as you can. “Can’t wait till she can walk; can’t wait till they can play together; can’t wait till she sleeps through the night. Can’t wait till they go to school,” she writes. “They’re in school, now, and the house is empty. But for me.”
When I became a second-time mom, I thought things would be easier. That I wouldn’t need any words of inspiration to get through the first year. And in many ways, things are easier. But I still find myself becoming impatient–longing for the time when I’ll no longer have to rock my daughter to sleep or wake up in the middle of the night to feed her.
And so it was that another mom’s thoughtful words found me again. I was sitting in my hair salon reading Redbook magazine when I came across this piece by Laura Munson. In a lovely essay entitled, “Where Did My Little Girl Go?” she writes of how she longs for the time when her teenage daughter was little. Their relationship is not what it once was: like most teenagers, her daughter can be reserved and temperamental, and Munson misses the love that once flowed freely between them. A particularly poignant moment is when Munson recalls how her daughter recently told her to stop singing one of the lullabies she used to love. “It’s depressing,” her daughter announced one day when she was 10. “Please don’t sing it anymore.”
Ouch!
Reading this essay was just another reminder of why I need to cherish these early years with my children. So, in those all too frequent moments when my kids are driving me crazy and I feel like passing out from exhaustion, I’ll think of both of these ladies’ sound advice. Because for every moment in which I’m about to lose it, I’m bound to have ten more moments full of two kids who think I’m the center of their world. And it won’t always be this way, and my children won’t always be around.
Leah Black is the former executive editor of New York Family. She and her husband are the proud parents of two-year-old Avi and baby Lily.
